Pacenotes – Over Exposed

You’ve probably seen them a thousand times and never really taken any notice. But I am a trained observer, and the blood of an investigative journalist courses through my veins.

Possibly because I bit one of my peers at the office Xmas party.

Anyway – stickers. They’re everywhere – on power poles, traffic lights, and most often on our road signs. And they’re not overtly touting the services of house painters, vape stockists or the local bordello. No – these are far more cryptic and downright sneaky.

Now, I’m not averse to a little subliminal messaging myself. For years I’ve substituted ‘$’ signs for any capital ‘S’ in all my correspondence with Editor Kyle.

It’s never actually generated a salary increase but it’s probably prevented any number of decreases when I’ve given him ample reasons to do so.

But none of the stickers plastered all over Auckland (and presumably further afield) appears to be automotive-related, despite quite clearly targeting motorists.

One of the most common stickers is ‘TAYSTAY’, which first appeared around the Covid pandemic.

I assumed it was a plea for everyone to stay at home, but have since found it is an exhortation to purchase the re-release of all Taylor Swift’s albums. Sorry, Taylor, but that is not going to happen – I’m more a Susan Boyle kinda guy myself.

Another sticker shows a folded figure that I initially assumed was Buddha extolling peace, love and understanding.

This seemed like a lovely sentiment in these trying times but it transpires it belongs to a nation-wide pilates chain advertising a new workout regime. I don’t know about you but I just don’t need that sort of negativity in my life.

A couple of stickers I was a little nervous of investigating too deeply. It transpires that ‘NIGER.COM’ is not an entry portal to the Henderson chapter of the KKK. Instead it is a charming website giving an insight into the lives and loves of the Nigerian royal family.

Indeed, one of the crown princes has an exciting financial offer if you have any spare cash lying around. I might flick him a couple of bob myself as he seems a genuine bloke.

And fortunately ‘TWERC HERE’ is not a directive to shake my booty, but just marks a turning point on the training route for the Takapuna/Waitemata endurance running club.

But by far the most prolific stickers out there are a series that all include the word ‘TROJAN’.

To most readers this probably conjures up images of the Trojan Wars, Helen of Troy, Trojan car trailers or a brand of American prophylactics. I, however, have experienced the horrors of computer malware known as a Trojan horse.

Just like the big wooden horse dragged inside the besieged city, I once downloaded an innocent-looking link that did NOT provide a list of current Formula 1 salaries, but instead allowed a group of Greek hackers to ransack my files.

I believe the management team refused to pay the threatened ransom, but long-time subscribers will still recall the infamous four-page November 2016 issue of ‘NZ Autocar’ before we were able to wrest control back.

Curiously, Trojan is actually the nickname of a South Auckland-based graffiti artist. He (or she) was prolific for many years but then went very quiet.

Some have suggested a spot of incarceration can do that, but it may have simply been parenthood swallowing up their spare time.

They now appear to be back on the scene, and making up for lost time.

“It’s genius,” I explained to my Editor. “They can now print a few thousand adhesive decals for the same price as a couple of cans of spray paint.

That means they can spread their tag far and wide, and even get their acolytes to do the donkey work. It’s the greatest exposure for the least amount of effort.”

“Sounds a lot like your columns for this magazine,” pointed out Kyle.

“$ure does, doesn’t it?” I agreed.

This article first appeared in the February 2024 issue of NZ Autocar magazine.